Ian Thorpe comes out as gay man

The very recent news of Ian Thorpe coming out as a gay man has garnered a variety of responses, ranging from 'who cares?', 'we already knew', 'I don't care what he does in the bedroom' (I will discuss this in another post), to more overtly negative responses that I will not dignify.

Much like Jason Ball (the open gay Australian Rules footballer who plays for a lower level team), I find the response of 'who cares?' to gloss over a very real issue. There are people who do care, for myself personally, I don't care so much personally, as I am in the current position of being very supported and also very much sheltered from any overt forms of homophobia, or homophobic abuse (physical or verbal, I've never been directly abused in person, or at least not at this point and hopefully won't ever be, but I digress).

For many LGBTI youths within Australia (and within other countries, Australia is the main focus for the time being), it does matter to see LGBTI representation within the media. The representation and reflection of a shared identity or shared experiences within media have the power to provide young people someone they can identify with, someone who has shared a similar experience, and has demonstrated that things can and do get better. It also does matter that we can see ourselves represented in the media and in society, but regarding Ian Thorpe's interview with Sir Michael Parkinson, it provides a platform for highlighting and discussing LGBTI issues, particularly in this case; the issue of homophobia, being closeted and the level of harm it causes.

Having myself gone through the experience of shame, self loathing, and confusion, I am very happy for Ian, and sincerely hope that he finds happiness having removed the terrible burden that being closeted can bear upon a person. As per his denials, I simply do not know what his state of mind has been over the years, and I do not think it fair to try and speculate and pass harsh judgement, as we simply can't know this sort of information; however drawing from my own experience, I remember being in denial since puberty until I was 19, when I finally got to a point where I had actually acknowledged I was attracted to another woman (despite occasionally getting hot and bothered by a gorgeous girl), I was so deep in denial, that I had essentially told myself, I had the occasional gay feelings, but wasn't gay, that I'd like guys if I just dated and slept with guys. Simply doesn't work like that, trying to deny who you are to yourself, it simply leads to things becoming very messy and very confusing. Unfortunately, growing up, those outside of my household and my group of friends, tended to display a disdain or outright disgust towards homosexuality, and unfortunately, I internalised these ideas, that it wasn't necessarily normal, accepted or healthy to be gay (yet at the same time I knew otherwise... cognitive dissonance is downright fucked up). I was terrified of how the people I love would react to me coming out; I was shown nothing short of unconditional love and endless support. Ian Thorpe may have found himself in a similar position, where his fear was not necessarily a rational fear in hind site. It is easy enough to state that no one cared about his sexuality, but for a young man to asked constantly at a young age, and to be within a society that doesn't (and still doesn't grant equal legal rights to LGBTI individuals and couples), it is understandable a young man, could very easily be petrified of what he perceived to be the consequences he would face if he had come out as gay, or had stated that he was unsure of his sexuality.

This is merely speculation, but it is very much possible that Ian may have simply acted out of denial and later fear and shame; much like how I was not too long ago myself. One is simply not going to act rational when acting out of fear, denial or shame.

I absolutely wish Ian the best, and hope that his coming out provides many with inspiration and also encourages discussion about why he felt he had to hide who he was for so long.

A little intro

My name is Meghan,
I live in a conservative rural town in rural New South Wales in Australia. I am also gay, and quite openly so.

The purpose of this blog is simply for myself to discuss and contemplate LGBTI issues, local and non-local to potentially promote some thought or discussion (provided someone actually reads what I'm bloody well writing up).

To provide some initial background, Albury-Wodonga (the area in which I live), is a reasonably conservative area. In Albury the people tend to vote for the LNP religiously (Wodonga being a part of Indi recently gave Mirabella the boot, as she did absolutely jack shit for the region). Albury-Wodonga, although improving in regards to LGBTI issues (I have seen things improve within the time frame of my own coming out, and to the present), there are still issues present within our community, which need to be identified and addressed.

I won't go into detail about any particular issue right now, but I will in further posts start to discuss various issues, and their impact on various segments of the LGBTI community.

Cheers,
Meghan.